All the boys I've loved before
by CharlieLee
Summary: There were many boys over the years, of course, but none that Katherine loved more than him. Katherine's first love.


**I wrote this _months_ ago, and completely forgot about it! I wanted to write something about Katherine as a human ( before I knew she would be the one taking the cure) and she seemed to really believe in love so why not. **

**Please review. It might take me a little while to upload the second part.**

* * *

_**June fifth, 1480. **__**  
**_

Katerina is celebrating her seventh birthday. She is dressed in a new gown, new shoes, and her hair has been carefully styled to perfection. She plays in the garden with her sister, Kalina. She picks flowers, and shows her how to thread them together, just as her Mother had shown her.

Kalina is unable to do it, and Katerina has little patience to show her. Her little sister is only four, and is often poorly, meaning that Katerina is forced to be kind to her, but she finds loving her such a chore.

"Again," She pleads, Katerina obliges. She has still not learned by the time that their Mother calls them from the garden, she takes Kalina's hand and leads her back towards the house. Today they eat as a family, to celebrate, and thank God for a healthy child like Katerina. Her Father's brother, Petar, will arrive, along with her Mother's three sisters, Ana, Gala, and Mila.

She spends a lot of time with her Mother, her sisters, and their children. She is learning how to be a woman.

Kalina and she enter the house to see that everyone else is already seated. Her Father sits at the top of the table, scowling at her. He is very strict, but her Mother claims that it is because he loves her, and wants the best for her. She takes her seat beside her cousin, Veronika, who's red dress rivals Katerina's.

Across from her, sits her uncle, his wife, and their son. She knows that she has met him before, several times in fact, but she remembers none of these. His skin is lighter than Katerina's, a mix between his Father's, and his Mother's, who is Russian born. His hair is a light brown, his eyes a dark green, and his lips a deep pink. He smiles at her, she sticks out her tongue.

"Katerina," He uncle says, catching her attention. "you remember your cousin Teodor." She nods, and greets the relative appropriately. The conversation flows between the women of the table, with her father and Petar rarely exchanging words. They have never gotten along, Katerina doesn't dare ask why, but they are blood none the less.

After their meal, the children return to the garden. Kalina is not allowed back outside, and is forced to take her afternoon nap.

Veronika runs in circles like a crazed dog, and Teodor kicks a ball around the garden.

"Teodor," Katerina calls, picking up her dress so that she can walk towards him. "will you teach me?"

"It is not a game for girls." She runs forward, and snatches the ball from beneath his feet. She runs as far as she can, as fast as she can, listening to the pounding of Teodor's steps, and the shrieks of Veronika as she calls for them to wait for her.

She makes it to the edge of the garden, to where the trees begin, before the air flees from her lungs and she is forced to stop and gasp for air.

"Katerina," Teodor scolds, "you should not have run so far from the house. It is not safe for a little girl." She rolls her eyes, Teodor is only two years older than her. Boys always act like they know better than her, simply because she is a girl.

"I want to learn to play." She says, holding the ball to her chest.

"No."

"Please, Teodor."

"No." She groans, and stomps her foot. "You're a girl." He tells her, as if this answers everything. She twirls a loose curl around her finger, just as she has seen her Mother do, and bats her eye lashes. He stares at her for a minute, maybe two, before a grin spreads across his face.

"In return, I want a kiss." She gasps, stepping back from him. Katerina only has plans to kiss her betrothed, and that is certainly not Teodor. But she wants to learn to play so that she can show the others that girls can play too. She stretches on her toes, although he is barely taller than her, and presses her lips softly to his cheek. He smiles and rubs the spot. He drops his head, returning the kiss on her cheek.

"Happy birthday, Katerina."

* * *

_**December fourteenth, 1483. **_

Katerina's Father has thrown a ball to celebrate the birth of another child, a boy. Aleksandar Petrov, scarcely a month old, is paraded around the room by her Mother, who is beaming with joy to have finally given her Father a son.

Kalina, now seven, sits in the corner of the room, her arms crossed angrily across her chest. She does not like to share the attention of her parents, and has sulked for seven months.

Katerina dances with Veronika, mimicking the movements of the adults around them. They giggle, and twirl, and enjoy the evenings festivities.

"May I?" Someone asks, and the girls part. Teodor stands to the side, his hands knotted behind his back. Katerina bows to him, and he follows suit.

"You have grown." He says.

"Yes."

"How is your Father?" He asks, staring down at her. He has gotten taller, and her neck cranes to look into his eyes.

"Well."

"And your Mother?"

"Well." The music finishes, but the children continue to dance, waiting for the change of song. "I hear your brother is to be married." She is excited about the fastly approaching nuptials. She will get a new dress, and shoes, and will travel to her uncle's estate for the first time.

"Yes, Anastasia is her name. Luka doesn't like her much." Katerina wrinkles her nose at the mention of her older, impolite cousin. She rarely sees Luka, and when she does, he treats her as though she is nothing.

"Luka doesn't like anyone." Teodor laughs, and tucks a curl behind her ear. "I cannot wait to be married, to bear children." She tells him, her eyes lighting up at the thought. "I want at least seven, three girls, and four boys. I will live in a huge house, have the finest of things, and my husband will respect me."

"I do not ever wish to be married, Katerina." He sighs, because they both know that this is not a choice he will get to make. Their futures have already been decided, and Katerina is well aware that her father has a suitable boy already chosen. "I do not like girls, not at all, and to be forced to share my fortune with one sounds dreadful."

"You do not like girls?" She asks, finding it strange. Nikolai Binev told her just the other day that he likes her, and he is a year younger than Teodor.

"No." He shakes his head, and she wonders if it is a lie. "But I do like you, Katerina." He whispers, and kisses the corner of her mouth. The song finishes, and this time he leaves her, his kiss still lingering on the corner of her lips like a promise.

* * *

_**March eleventh, 1487. **_

Katerina weeps silently into her pillow, clutching the brown bear to her chest. It isn't fair, it simply isn't fair.

Kalina, only three days earlier, had taken ill with a fever, and passed away in the early hours of that morning. Katerina does not understand it, why God would take someone only eleven years old. Alek is only three years old, and is too young to understand what is happened, but he cries for Kalina anyway.

"Katerina," Somebody calls, and she feels the bed dip.

"Leave," She sobs, refusing to roll around. She had asked to be left alone, to be left to grieve. "I do not desire company."

"Katerina," The voice calls again, stroking her arm. She turns then, taking in the sight of Teodor's concerned expression. He looks completely changed, his head bigger, his face thinner, and littered with a dark blonde stubble. He has grown too, in both height and width. He looks like a man now, not a boy. "I'm sorry about Kalina. She was far too young to pass." Katerina nods, and he rubs the back of his head, unsure of himself. "I'm sorry for entering your bed chambers but I heard you sobbing and-" A sob escapes her, and he wipes a fresh tear from her cheek, his thumb trailing backwards and forwards. "You look awful." He says, and she sticks her tongue out at him.

"I haven't slept in several days," She tells him, and the smile falls from his face. "I did not want to lose my time with Kalina."

"I'm sorry."

"I am very tired."

"Sleep." He commands, but she cannot.

"I'm afraid." She admits, her teeth sinking into her lower lip. "I'm afraid that if I go to sleep that I won't wake up, like Kalina."

"Katerina, you are perfectly healthy." His brow creases, and he purses his lips.

"Stay with me." She pleads, "I don't want to die alone." It's irrational, he knows it, and so does she, but he lies down beside her all the same, a good two feet left between them.

"I love you, Teo." She tells him, her eyes already shut, her body already asleep. She's asleep before he replies, but she likes to imagine that he told her her loved her too.

* * *

_**June fifth, 1488. **_

Katerina wears green, just like her mother. It is her birthday once again, and her father has organized a ball. She smiles at all, and dances with Nikolai, who stumbles through the steps nervously, his palms sweating against hers. She flirts, and plays the games that her mother has taught her.

Truthfully, she wants one, and one alone, but he has arrived with another. Margarita is a sweet girl, short and plump with dark brown hair. Katerina hates her.

She strolls outside, having sent Nikolai to fetch her a drink, and splashes her fingers through the water in the fountain.

"Katerina," Teodor greets, placing a kiss on the back of her hand. His touch makes her stomach flutter, and she pretends its nausea. "happy birthday."

"Thank you." She is nothing if not polite.

"You look beautiful."

"As does Margarita," She remarks, and his expression turns sour. His tongue darts between his lips, moistening them, and takes an unnecessarily large breath.

"I do not love her."

"You don't owe me an explanation." She says, wrapping her arms tighter around herself. "You should love her, she will bear you many children. You will marry her, and I will marry Nikolai, and one day, perhaps, our children will play together." He curls a strand of hair around his finger.

"Is that what you truly desire?" He whispers, his mouth inches from her ear. The night is warm, but she shivers. "To marry Nikolai, to live in a large house, with the finest of things, and a husband who respects you?" She thinks he is mocking her, and she pushes against his chest, causing him to stumble backwards. He looks shocked, and Katerina furious.

"How dare you-" She begins, her eyes ablaze. "I _love _Nikolai." Teodor scoffs, and grabs her upper arm roughly.

"_Love," _He growls, tightening his grips. It hurts more than Katerina would like to admit, but she shows no sign of pain, and holds her head even higher. "what would you know of _love, _Katerina." He grins, "It has no place in our world."

"Nikolai-"

"Nikolai's father will make a _powerful _ally for your father. Your union means nothing more, and nothing less." She can feel the tears blurring her vision, and the tell-tale sting at the back of her throat. But instead of crying, showing her weakness, she smiles.

"Perhaps, you are right." The grin falls from his face, and his grip loosens. "I may marry Nikolai, just so my father will make an ally, but that does not mean that I won't love him, and he won't love me."

"Katerina," She raises her hand to stop him, and shakes her head dismissively.

"Goodbye, Teodor." Her kiss to his cheek is swift, he barely feels the warmth of her lips on his cheek, and just like she's gone.

No promise, just a goodbye.


End file.
